Category Archives: defense against a psychopath

Tips on how to protect yourself from a psychopath in your life. Shunning techniques, and tips on management beyond shunning.

How to personally deal with psychopaths.

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I’ve written about this topic here several times, but it occurs to me I haven’t properly categorized it.   All the appropriate blog posts are under Defense Against Psychopaths.

http://civgene.matthewnewhall.com/archives/category/defense-against-psychopaths

The problem is that category has become quite broad.  So I’ve created a new category Defense Against a Psychopath.  This is where to go if you’re trying to solve an immediate personal problem.

http://civgene.matthewnewhall.com/archives/category/defense-against-a-psychopath

Here is a quick guide to the new category, so far.

Shunning is key.  The problem is no solution will work unless you can identify them BEFORE they take advantage of you.  They will succeed unless you know your self

So…

  • Know yourself.
  • Identify psychopaths
  • Shun psychopaths

If you can’t shun them keep all interaction public.  This is a decent disincentive to anti-social behavior.  This is so you never let give them 1. singular authority over data or 2. a supervisor role over another human (including yourself.)

So now it’s

  • know yourself
  • Identify psychopaths
  • shun psychopaths
  • If you can’t shun because you have to enforce the two rules, keep all interaction public.

If you want personal help, read the following in order.

  1. http://civgene.matthewnewhall.com/archives/467
  2. http://civgene.matthewnewhall.com/archives/42
  3. http://civgene.matthewnewhall.com/archives/385
  4. http://civgene.matthewnewhall.com/archives/591

Forgiveness is a weapon

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Warrior Monks Of Shaolin Temple

The dangers of propaganda and to less of an extent marketing have long been established.  But how do they work?   Either by rearranging your emotions or generating brand new ones people can change your behavior without your consent.  When being blitzed by these techniques you really only have two options.  You can either remove yourself from the outside influence, or you can recognize and actively ignore the external messages.

The emotional maps that can be used to manipulate you can be derived from broader societal trends, or can extracted from you personally using psychoanalysis techniques.  Scale effects the technique, but not the result.  If  I can trigger and emotional reaction in you, I can change your mood and to some degree your behavior.  Even if you are aware of the attempt and actively trying to stop me.

As mentioned simply removing yourself from the environment is effective.  For example turning off the television or more personally shunning a psychopath.  Once they can no longer communicate with you, you will not form further emotional connections and they can not interfere with the metamind’s predictive abilities.

But we know that the real world is rarely so simple.  You may need to endure many sources of emotional manipulation during any day.  Further, being self aware can help you to block emotions, but the very act of blocking intruding emotions can make you angry or depressed.  Now upset that you have been toyed with, you may still change your behavior, perhaps drastically, providing a wanted response.  This two layer manipulation is insidious, but hardly unstoppable.

Contrary to popular belief, forgiveness is a wholly personal affair.  While it may play an important role in your particular faith, it serves the health of your mind directly.  Another popular belief is that forgiven is forgotten.  It is critical that you separate these two things.  Forgiveness is your best method to completely stop external manipulation of your emotions without changing your behavior.  Forgetting is opening up yourself to further manipulation attempts by people and organizations that you may have already identified as a psychopath or psychopathic.

Consider forgiving the psychopathic cultures and psychopaths in your life.  Not as a benevolent act of compassion, but as an act of self defense.  Recognize psychopathic behavior for what it really is, the selfish whims of the mentally limited.  Show them pity and you , not them, will be saved from the torment of a distorted conscience

Brainspotting (fake empathy)

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brainspotting

Psychopaths in all stages (narcissist, ASPD, sociopath) sometimes need to pretend they have compound emotions that they don’t really feel.  Being ideological makes us vulnerable to their scripts.  The more ideological you are the more they can manipulate you with your own cognitive dissonance.  The inverse is also true.  If your logical mind uses rationalization to know your subconscious self, wasting mind power on defending your ideology becomes unnecessary, freeing valuable mind power to detect anomalies in your own conscience. These anomalies are often a sign someone is trying to manipulate you.

Here are a few examples of manufactured empathy designed by psychopaths to manipulate you.

Celebrity gossip:  Psychopaths love to chat about the stars.  Particularly if a celebrity has a great misfortune that many people are in consensus about.  The card trick is simple.  Turn on the teevee and consume every perspective on the awful fate befalling some star.  Then at a convenient time regurgitate word for word the script that was read to them.

The clue:  Look for a similar but distinct situation with a neighboor or friend (who is not on social media) and ask them about that.  They’ll hem and haw.

Pet perversion:  Psychopaths know that people project all kinds of irrational love and trust on their pets.  They will profess astonishment at an abused cat on the TeeVee but then beat, ignore, or experiment with their own dog behind closed doors.  ‘Isn’t it awful’ they’ll say.

The clue:  The animal is just a prop to them.  They’ll talk it up but it will be malnourished, untrained, or allowed to run loose.  They just as soon throw it in front of your car to trade an animal slave for a human one.

The one true ism:  Sociopaths drool over the prospects for enslaving whole populations with a clever qip.  Be it nationalism, racism, religious fundementalism, feminism, etc.  You name it.  If it pushes one group over another, the world has a whole lot less peers and a whole lot more masters and slaves, and making their their need for rank and file more rationial with each recruit.  Healthy idiology is both personal and contextual.  Empathic humans expound joy and revel in enlightenment and realization.

The clue: Do the ‘betters’ in your favorite idea act more like children sharing a new skill they’ve discovered, or zookeepers?  Are they teaching you what they’ve learned about fishing or simply throwing you some fish to keep you well fed, for now?   Don’t be passive.  Ask questions until you stump them.  They will slip and show themselves.  Trust your gut.  Then you will know if it’s just a handout (a Pavlovian training mechanism) or a hand up (the compassion of a peer).

The children:  ‘but what about the children’  It’s a cliché.  It almost goes without saying.  But there is a subtle point which may assist you.  Psychopaths do actually care for their children.  Almost all animals do.  It’s not the same as the love we show but it’s just as real to them.

The clue:  Psychopaths turn to their own experience as children when parenting.  A combination of harsh punishment and public denial would have protected them during their ASPD episodes, so they impart the same on their children psychopath or not.  They may let their children run amok and only punish them when they are caught.  The real lesson is not emotional programming of the conscience (pointless to them) but instead the simple logical message ‘don’t get caught.’  This results in some radical hypocrisy, especially for those in public life.

Anything you care deeply about: If you wear your heart on your sleeve they will use the knowlage to chain you up and clean you out.

The clue:  If someone depicts them self as an emotional match that is simply too good to be true, it probably is.  Know yourself emotionally (internal or external psychotherapy) and the distortion of the manipulation attempt should send your conscience reeling.

This is not even close to comprehensive, but gives you some examples of how fake empathy can be used to open your mind just enough that your metamind falls out.  Explore your mind to discover your own ideas.  The isms that truly suit your mind will always have an element of faith.  It greatly behoves you to operate on a hunch.  That’s what your conscience is for!  That is how you become your own leader.  You must be your own leader to truly treat your peers as equals.

Give psychopaths a conscience for Christmas

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xmas-tree2

This is the time of year where extended families who may only see each other twice a year come together.   For many this means spending time with a psychopath.  Remember if you can’t get away your best bet is to shun them.  Always be polite but practice absolute minimal conversation.  Give gifts, but don’t go out of your way.  That becomes a conversation piece.

I’m not suggesting that you shouldn’t forgive psychopaths.  You should forgive everyone!  It’s good for the metamind!  If you think carefully about it, you’ll realize that this is forgiveness for them.  A grudge would be screaming matches, passive agressive behavior, and a general thirst for vengence.  No instead you are offering them, for a short time, the experience they long for the most in the world.  What it’s like to have a conscience.  You are simulating one for them, externally.

By giving them minimal interaction you are not presenting them with opportunities to manipulate you.  In addition you are removing the risk for them every time they open their mouths.  They can logically guess what the family is feeling, but since they don’t have the music, they can never be sure if they are singing the right song.  Let them off the hook.  Don’t make them sing in the first place.

Now in the peace of solitude they can build up the one tool they have, their logical mind.  With a lot of this time to observe they might even get it right and treat people in a conscionable way once in a while, an outcome that is good for everyone.

Keep in mind there may be empathic family members who they have worked long and hard to program with external emotions.  The best option is shun them too.  Each situation is different, but the biggest risk is when the psychopath is actually present.  Your empathic kin’s metamind will eventually recognize what is going on.  They just need time untangle all those bogus emotions.  To remove the bramble of imposition, and clear a path for coherent compassion.

Merry Christmas, and peace to all mankind.

Psychopaths 101 in 5 minutes.

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basics

I’ve had a request, to explain in simple terms what someone can do to get psychopaths out of their life.  No psychology, no social impact, just who they are, and who you are.

Who are psychopaths?

  1. Let go of the idea that all people have some good in them.  Most do!  But some don’t.
  2. Psychopaths are cavemen and cavewomen that look just like us.  We evolved from them.
  3. Only a tiny fraction of a percent of them are killers.  They prefer crimes that get little attention.
  4. They 1-5% of the population.  Worst case one in every classroom, every train car, and most  extended families.
  5. They can be born into any family.  We all carry the gene.
  6. They can’t resist something they want when they are sure they won’t be caught. (Golden Opportunities.)
  7. They see every other human being as their master or their slave.  They sort every person obsessively.

Who are empaths?  (People with a conscience)

  1. Conscience is a long term risk management tool, a tool they lack.
  2. We (can) have all of their strengths and none of their weaknesses.  We can be cold and ruthless, but they can’t manage abstract risk.
  3. Your conscience is a genetic mutation that lets you think with feelings in addition to your rational mind.
  4. Your feelings can be used to manipulate your rational decisions.
  5. Know your emotions.  If you understand your feelings, including the less common ones, you control your actions.
  6. People default to trust.  End that behavior and they’ll avoid you as as they do other psychopaths.  If this is offensive, consider displaying a false trust.  Craft a complete series of tests of minimal personal consequence.  Over a long enough period of time they will fail your tests.
  7. If you identify a psychopath, end contact.  If you can’t end contact, shun them (manners, but bare minimal interaction) until you can.

Please pass this along.  If you need some more information, please look at the theories page.  If you want a lot more detail and the origin of the theories please see the background page.

 

Self defense from sociopaths

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barn

As I mentioned in the BSA and Catholic Church child defense review, an intelligent sociopath stage psychopath may show no signs until a golden opportunity presents it’s self.  Without genetic screening how do you protect yourself?  Actually there are quite a few things you can do.   They may require permanent life changes, but it’s well worth it.  You won’t need to wait until society catches up to enjoy the benefits.

The key to happiness is a commitment to enlightenment.    Once you know how to know yourself, then making the world a better place becomes the obvious goal.  The key to both of these stages is knowing who to trust.  If you know who to trust, everything else falls into place.   It’s all about conserving energy for endeavors that first help yourself, and ultimately strengthen your ability to help others.

Train Yourself

  • Know yourself – You have emotions attached to every memory.  You can’t (and shouldn’t) change them all, but if you know WHY you have that emotional reaction then you own it.  If you can’t be surprised, you can’t be manipulated.  Your emotions may be hurtful or damaging, and destructive, but are never inaccurate.  That’s what you feel.  Understand them all.  Learn to counteract old destructive emotions, with positive ones that value you, your loved ones and your societies.  If you understand the old emotions and add new positive emotions, the old ones become
    far less dangerous or destructive.  The conscience is a game of averages.
  • Study psychopaths – Learn about how psychopaths act in narcissistic, ASPD and sociopath stages, and how intelligence and wealth accelerates the progression.  Consider how someone who views all others as either their master or their slave would interact with the world.   You can study many other animals for examples.  Know what a golden opportunity is, not just in reality, but from different perspectives, points of view,and intelligence levels.  Most importantly always remember that all people project what they want to see onto others.  They will project superficiality onto you, and you compassion and empathy on them.
  • Become a meta-psychopath –  Intentionally hide your emotions and act like a psychopath under some conditions.  This is very dangerous and not for everybody.  Your conscience can quickly become overloaded with negative emotions, making you the monster you set out to fight.  Once you understand how other people work, and completely know yourself (your emotions), you can put them aside for a larger purpose.  Undercover police are a great example of how this might work.  Avoid hierarchical psychopath cooperatives as they become police states and cults, and you may not be allowed to abandon your post when the needs of your conscience demands it.  For hands on training you can join a society that is a psychopath cooperative.  This is where psychopaths are allowed some psychopathic behavior in exchange for strict limits as to when and where they can act out.  Typical examples might be black markets, counter-cultures, and activist collectives.  Of course I am NOT endorsing any illegal activity here.  For example the global heavy metal society may be one example of a completely legal, non-hierarchical counter-culture that is mildly psychopathic.

 

Identify psychopaths

  • Perform the questionnaire – Take the Hare attributes and Thomas Sheridan’s attributes and rate 6-10 people from 1-5 (not true to very true) for each attribute.  You must make sure to include yourself, and at least one person you are sure is not a psychopath to create a baseline.  If anyone has all the required attributes and many of the others, you have identified them.
  • Play the dupe – If you truly know yourself then bragging, boasting and generally displaying your full prowess is not needed.  Learn how to get people to underestimate you.  You will know you are succeeding when you become the subject of cruel jokes and endless ribbing and brow beating.  The psychopath will quickly assert themselves as them master and begin to order you about.  Now you have found them.
  • Set traps – Leave a variety of easy scores laying about.  Leave a $100 as bookmark on a coffee table book.  Leave your most powerful pain killer prescription bottle in the medicine cabinet in your bathroom with an exact number of placebo (probiodics work great)  pills in it.  Set your boss up to take credit for a project of yours at work.  Send a flirty, loyal but unknown friend to chat with your boyfriend, and see if he takes the bait.  If they take the bait no need to confront them.  The goal was identification, mission accomplished.
  • Examine their past – Don’t be afraid to ask tough questions about their past, not only of them but previous friends.  It doesn’t need to be a job interview.  Ask to see photo albums.  Ask about old cars.  Previous houses, towns.  Psychopaths love to brag so make it about how great their things and awards were.  This takes some time but this should yield research-able leads about their entire life.  If not, the risk is too great to continue.
  • Observe behavior

Ending the madness

Once you know who to trust your following actions should be a fairly easy decision.  It may be difficult to walk the path, but please persevere.  Shun all psychopaths.  Interact with them as minimally as possible.That way the next time they see a golden opportunity, you won’t be involved.  If must interact with them be sure you have a trusted witness.

Unless you are comfortable and skilled as a meta-psychopath, you should not remain in a society with known psychopaths.  Instead focus on local societies.  Use the rules of the societies to rout them, or find/form societies that have not yet been infiltrated and controlled.

If you are financially involved with a psychopath, minimize interactions to business, record everything, and make a plan to exit the relationship as soon as possible.

One day I will expand and revise this list.  Of course I am open to suggestions.  I hope this helps.

Help! There is a psychopath in my life.

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scream

There is a reasonable chance you have landed here because you were searching personal solutions.  The first thing is don’t panic.  Seriously, that can make things worse.  If they really are a psychopath calling them on it will not cause some sort of guilt trip.  Even if they could change they will not feel bad enough (or feel bad at all) to change their behaviour for your benefit.

The first thing you need to do is see a psychologist.  No this does not mean it’s your fault or that you did anything wrong or failed in any way.  They can really help.  Psychologists help you map out your emotional reactions.  Everybody is different and it can be tricky for an untrained person to suspend their own emotional reactions when discussing unconscionable acts.  Psychologists ARE trained in this hence their advantage in helping you know yourself.

Please know that you are not doomed if you are isolated if you can’t afford or reach one.  Your path may just be more difficult.  After a good college try you can skip to the next step.

Read Without Conscience, and Puzzling People.  Seriously it’s important that you read them for the next step.  Both of these books detail extensively what psychopaths are and how they work.  Both go so far as to provide tests to determine if a particular person is a psychopath.  I would use Sheridan’s (Puzzling People) 1-5 scale with both Sheridan’s and Hare’s (Without Conscience)  psychopath tests.  Do not just rate the psychopath.  Apply the scale to the closest people to you in you life, including at least a couple of people you are sure are not psychopaths and yourself.  This is important as a reality check.

Be warned you may be surprised at who turns out to be a psychopath.  All people can project their own flaws on others.  Psychopaths use this technique heavily to stay hidden.  Share the results with your psychologist.  They will likely NOT confirm your assessment of the psychopath (no matter how obvious or accurate the test result is) but that does not mean it is not valid.  They have a moral obligation not to assess anyone that they don’t directly spend time with.    What they can do is help you figure out answers to particular questions.   They can help answer a question like ‘does aunt Petunia’s persona change when she becomes intensely angry at a third party and switches back again.’

Once you have completed the tests you will all the pieces in place you need to take action.  You will know who the psychopaths in your life are, and you will have  the moral support you need.   At this point you don’t need to get fancy.  Come up with a plan to quickly shut them out, both of power over your material world, and influence over your personal feelings.    If you can just walk away, do.  In the more likely event that you can’t you can’t because of a marriage or children or family, begin a regimen of shunning.

Shunning is simple and effective.  It essentially is turning your back on someone socially.   Just don’t talk to them anymore.   If you must you can practice basic manners (hello, goodbye, bless you), but keep it to a minimum.  Yes of no answers and a quick exit are called for if they (themselves or through someone they influence) try to force you into a conversation.  That’s it.  Sooner or later, they will just fall off and move on.  Keep track of the things they say to try to force you back into a destructive relationship with them.  These may be emotional triggers (weaknesses) of yours.

Good luck, but if you truly follow these steps you won’t need it.  🙂